Open your mind, don’t live in fear. TOL: Thinking out loud

Home, Parents, traditions, a country, religion, relatives, relationships, education, costumes, careers, perspectives and brains. That’s what we’re all made of. Oneself is a combination of all those things. What I realized today is that the person I am right now is really not me. I have been so accustomed to getting all my info from “those who know better”, Older people. I have not been taught to think for myself.

I have always lived in fear. Fear of disappointing. Ever heard the quote ‎”Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everyone I’ve ever known.” Chuck Palahniuk – Invisible Monsters?, I don’t want to be living proof of this quote. I am not planning on giving up everything I’ve learned in life so far. Actually I think I want to end up being the same person I am right now, but I want to get there my way. I want to think for myself and set my own standards. I don’t want to do anything because “I have to” or because “That’s how I was raised/taught”. I want to be free. I want a clean slate to start from and build up from there. I want my own perspective. I want to be rid of this inner conflict between what I think and what I’ve been taught.

I am not planning on giving up my religion or my traditions. I am not planning to pretend I’m from another country or a different background. I just want to be my version of me. Yes there are some things I want to change completely. There are things I’ve always wanted to do but didn’t because of this “fear” of disappointing which is just ridiculous.I realized these walls around me were built by me. The narrow perspective is my fault for thinking I can’t think the unthinkable or anything unfamiliar or against what I’ve been told. Because this is my life and I only get one. This doesn’t mean I’m gonna run wild and act like a child.   I will still make responsible choices and I will consider the consequences of my decisions but only I will decide if it’s worth it or not. I will take my own risks and I will make my own life. 

Doesn’t it drive you crazy sometimes? All the stereotyping in the world?. How sometimes religion is used to control people?. I also hate how traditions are sometimes used to justify inexplicable actions.  It’s sad how some people would let things like that take over their lives just because they don’t want to be different. 

We were created with a brain and a heart for a reason. A brain to think, analyze and reach conclusions not to be stuffed. Make your own thoughts. Think for yourself. A heart to be compassionate, kind, considerate towards others and most importantly to feel because you don’t live alone in this world. Yes consider other people’s feelings and lives, how they would be affected by your choices but do not be a soul-less copy. We were not meant to be the same and follow in the same footsteps. Yes there will be similarities and differences but it still has to be you who decides that you want to be like this. Everyone is entitled to live the life they want. It’s a birthright. Do not let anyone make you think that you don’t deserve what you wan’t. Or that it’s Impossible because it’s different.  Sometimes where you’re scared to go is BLISS.

Today, I decided I am free. Free of this fear of disappointing. I am not giving up the things I learned or the parts of me I want to keep. Today, I speak my mind and free my soul. I am thinking, I am open to the possibilities of who I could be.
Open your mind, let go of the fear and you can do almost anything.